January 2012
Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)
Nancy Sinatra
We’ve all heard Erik’s side of the story, now I think it’s time for a different POV. Ladies and gentlemen of Tumblr, I now present You’ll Shoot Your
SpineEye Out: The Groovy Times of Charles Xavier. WARNING: THIS IS VERY, VERY LONG AND FULL OF GIFS. I BLAME IT ON THE FACT THAT I’M CREATING THIS SINCE THE GREAT MCFASSY EXPLOSION ON TUMBLR AND THEREFORE THERE ARE TONS MORE GIFS AVAILABLE THAN WHAT WAS AVAILABLE FOR MY PREVIOUS POSTS. ANYWAY.
WATCH AS CHARLES IMPRESSES THE CROWD WITH HIS MANLY DRINKING ABILITIES AND HIS LUSCIOUS LOCKS THAT HOLD LOTS OF SECRETS, THAT’S WHY IT’S SO LUSCIOUS.
WATCH AS CHARLES TRIES TO BE A SMOOTH OPERATOR. OH CHARLES DON’T WORRY YOU ARE ~TOTALLY~ HETEROSEXUAL.
WATCH AS CHARLES CASUALLY AND LIKE A BOSS INFORMS THE CIA THAT HE CAN READ THEIR MINDS. I IMAGINE THAT PLAYING CHARADES AGAINST THIS GUY IS A TOTAL BUZZKILL.
WATCH AS CHARLES DIVES INTO THE OCEAN TO RESCUE A MAN HE HAS NEVER MET BEFORE. THAT CHARLES, HE’S A NOBLE ONE. OR SO DESPERATE FOR A SHAG THAT HE’LL RISK DROWNING JUST FOR A PIECE OF ALBEIT REALLY REALLY HOT ASS.
WATCH AS CHARLES SIT THERE CONSUMED WITH LUST OVER THIS SIX FOOT TALL HANDSOME SHARK OF A NAZI HUNTER.
WATCH AS CHARLES REALIZES THAT THE SHINY HELMET HANK MAKES HIM WEAR NOT ONLY OPENS HIS MIND TO OTHER MUTANTS, BUT TO ERIK’S SEXUAL FANTASIES. NEEDLESS TO SAY, CHARLES IS ME GUSTA-ING LIKE NO ONE HAS EVER ME GUSTA-ED BEFORE.
WATCH AS CHARLES TOASTS HIMSELF FOR PROJECTING HIS FANTASIES OF ERIK IN DRAG AND PLAYS IT OFF LIKE IT AIN’T NO THANG. IT’S ALL FOR THE MUTANT CAUSE, YOU SEE. CHARLES KNOWS HE HOLDS THE KEY TO EVERLASTING PEACE BETWEEN HUMANS AND MUTANTS, AND THE KEY IS ERIK LEHNSHERR IN PANTYHOSE AND A GARTER BELT.
WATCH AS CHARLES USES HIS ABILITIES TO LURE ERIK INTO HIS BED. WATCH AS HE CONTEMPLATES USING SAID ABILITIES TO MAKE ERIK PAT HIM JUST A LITTLE HIGHER UP ON THE LEG.
WATCH AS CHARLES MANAGES ONCE AGAIN TO BROADCAST HIS EXTREMELY HETEROSEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT ERIK. CHARLES, YOU ARE THE WORLD’S STRONGEST TELEPATH, THIS IS STARTING TO BECOME EMBARRASSING.
WATCH AS ERIK ACTS LIKE A TOTAL DICK ABOUT CHARLES’ UPRBINGING. WATCH AS CHARLES GIVES HIM A BITCHFACE BUT SAYS NOTHING BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS THAT ERIK ACTS LIKE A COCK BECAUSE HE IS TRAUMATIZED AND HURTING AND NAZIS AND ALL THAT.
WATCH AS CHARLES TRIES TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT HIS LIFE HAS SUDDENLY BECOME AN NC-17 PROMPT FILLED ON 1STCLASS_KINK.
WATCH AS CHARLES INNOCENTLY ASKS ERIK IF HE CAN PENETRATE HIS MIND. FUCK, CHARLES, I AM SITTING HERE IN AWE OF YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY. I MEAN, REALLY, MAN. THE WIGGLING FINGERS ARE A NICE ADDED TOUCH, REAL ROMANTIC AND SMOOTH, LOTHARIO. YOU ARE LUCKY THAT ERIK IS SO DESPERATE TO BE LOVED THAT HE DOESN’T REALIZE THAT YOU ARE BASICALLY ASKING FOR PERMISSION TO FINGER HIM.
WATCH AS CHARLES BEMOANS HIS CONSTANT STATE OF NEVERENDING SEXUAL FRUSTRATION AND TRIES TO STOP HIMSELF FROM ASKING ERIK TO SHOW HIM HIS TEETH.
WATCH THE AFTERMATH OF WHAT IS THE MOST INTIMATE SEX SCENE WITH NO PHYSICAL PENETRATION EVER ON FILM. THIS IS THE MOMENT WHERE CHARLES STOPS THINKING WITH HIS COCK AND REALIZES JUST HOW MUCH HE TRULY LOVES THIS BEAUTIFUL, FLAWED, BROKEN MAN AND HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO TAKE ALL OF ERIK’S SHATTERED PIECES AND PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER SO THAT ERIK CAN FINALLY FIND THE PEACE THAT’S ELUDED HIM HIS ENTIRE LIFE.
WATCH AS THE EPIC GAY LOVE AFFAIR IS INTERRUPTED BY SOME SILLY END OF THE WORLD BUSINESS. ARE THE TWO OF THEM TALKING ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THEY’RE PREPARED TO SAVE THE WORLD? OR ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT THEIR FIRST FORRAY INTO S&M? WE WILL NEVER KNOW.
WATCH AS CHARLES LOOKS ON WITH LOVE AND PRIDE AT ERIK FINDING THE POINT BETWEEN RAGE AND SERENITY. YOU CAN PRACTICALLY HEAR CHARLES SCREAMING, “THAT’S RIGHT, BITCHES, THIS IS MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND RIGHT HERE! LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING FLY ASS GQ JAMES BOND MOTHERFUCKER LIFTING SUBMARINES OUT OF THE WATER LIKE A BOSS!”
WATCH AS CHARLES MAKES THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE OF NOT ONLY HIS OWN MENTAL WELL-BEING, BUT HIS MORALS. LET’S DISCUSS THIS FOR A MINUTE, SHALL WE? CHARLES BELIEVES IN THE GOOD OF HUMANITY. HE HAS MADE IT HIS ENTIRE LIFE’S MISSION TO NOT ONLY SHAG ERIK SENSELESS, BUT TO PULL HIM OUT OF HIS WEEPY NAZI-HUNTING DARKNESS AND INTO THE LIGHT. HE HAS DONE EVERYTHING HE CAN TO PERSUADE ERIK INTO NOT KILLING SHAW. AND EVEN THOUGH ERIK IS A MOTHERFUCKING RAT BASTARD WHO PURPOSELY CUTS CHARLES OUT OF HIS MIND, CHARLES STILL HOLDS ONTO SHAW TELEPATHICALLY (DID I SPELL THAT RIGHT I DON’T KNOW I THINK THE GAY HAS BROKEN MY ABILITY TO SPELL). JUST SO SHAW CAN’T RETALIATE. JUST SO ERIK WON’T DIE. CHARLES SETS ASIDE HIS OWN MORALS FOR THE SAKE OF ERIK.
WATCH AS CHARLES RECOVERS FROM THE TRAUMA OF HAVING A COIN SLOWLY DRILLED THROUGH HIS SKULL AND WONDERS WHETHER OR NOT ERIK’S PROWESS IN BED IS ENOUGH FORGIVE HIM FOR THIS. BECAUSE REALLY, THAT IS AN ASSHOLE THING TO DO TO YOUR BOYFRIEND, ERIK. I MEAN REALLY.
WATCH AS CHARLES READS THE MINDS OF THE ARMIES AIMING MISSILES AT THEM. I IMAGINE IN THE DVD THE SUBTITLES UNDERNEATH THE SCREEN WILL READ SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
WATCH AS CHARLES DECLARES HIS LOVE FOR ERIK, WHICH CAUSES ERIK TO ABANDON HIS PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION FOR THE TIME BEING IN FAVOR OF NOT SO TENDER SEX ON THE BEACH. THEY DO IT FOUR TIMES IN A ROW AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL. OH WAIT, NO, THIS ISN’T WHAT HAPPENED.
WATCH AS INSTEAD OF SAYING THE ABOVE, CHARLES XAVIER OPENS HIS FUCKING MOUTH AND SAYS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING IN THE WORLD. CHARLES, YOU ARE A SMART MAN. AND YOU JUST TOLD A FUCKING HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR THAT THE MEN TRYING TO KILL HIM ARE GOOD MEN, JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS. THE AMOUNT OF EVENS THAT I CANNOT RIGHT NOW. SIR, YOU ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF UPPERCLASS WHITE BOY PRIVILEGE CHECK 101.
WATCH AS ERIK UNDERSTANDABLY LOSES HIS SHIT AND CHARLES PULLS A STUPID MOVE AND GETS INTO A FIGHT WITH A FUCKING NAZI HUNTER. REALLY CHARLES? HUMANITY IS JUST SO PRECIOUS THAT YOU JUST HAVE TO GET INTO A FIST FIGHT WITH AN UNOFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS?
WATCH AS CHARLES GETS SHOT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SPINE. WATCH AS ERIK HAS TO RUB IT IN WITH HIS SASSY LITTLE HIP SWAY. THAT DOUCHEBAG.
WATCH AS CHARLES SCREAMS IN AGONY BECAUSE HE JUST GOT SHOT IN THE SPINE BY HIS SOULMATE. THIS IS NOT WHAT CHARLES MEANT WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT GETTING ROUGH IN THE BEDROOM, ERIK.
WATCH AS CHARLES TURNS DOWN ERIK’S MARRIAGE PROPOSAL DUE TO ERIK TURNING INTO A CRAY CRAY MACHIAVELLIAN EVIL OVERLORD IN A FIVE-MINUTE SPAN. DOES YOUR HEART HURT OVER THE INJUSTICE OF ALL THIS? JACK AND ROSE AND JACK AND ENNIS HAVE NOTHING ON THESE TWO.
WATCH AS CHARLES MAKES A TOTALLY OMNIOUS JOKE ABOUT HIS HAIR TO HIDE HIS PAIN OVER LOSING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO WALK, BUT GODDAMN IT, IF HE LOSES HIS HAIR, HIS LIFE MAY AS WELL BE OVER. PRIORITIES, EVERYONE. CHARLES XAVIER HAS THEM. NO WONDER ERIK FUCKING LEFT HIS ASS.
WATCH AS CHARLES REALIZES THAT HE MUST WIPE THE MEMORIES OF HIS DEAR FRIENDAND A REPLACEMENT FOR ERIKMOIRA. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MEET CHARLES XAVIER, FOREVER ALONE.This is like the best thing EVER.
Put a character in my ask and I'll tell you
1. My OTP for them
2. A person of the same gender I ship them with
3. A person of another gender I ship with with
4. An uncommon person I ship them with
5. A ship with them I don’t care for
Fandoms: X-Men First Class, X-Men Movieverse, Wanted, Iron Man (1/2), Captain America, Supernatural, NCIS, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Angel
December 2011
For ninemoons42
Here is some Charlotte/Erik fic. Where Charlotte is sleep deprived and Erik is a sweetheart.
—-
Erik sighs. He can’t believe she is at it again. For once, he would like to wake up at three and have Charlotte beside him. Not working on some cake that is due in two days. Particularly when she only had finishing touches to do. He stares up at the ceiling and glares at it. He can hear the thud of the rolling pin as it hits the bench. He sighs again, and rubs at his face. Seconds pass and he stumbles out of their bed. He yawns and stumbles out to the hallway. It was too early to be awake and functioning. It’s a miracle that he doesn’t hit the coffee table at the end of the corridor. He does rub at his eyes when the light hits, and he curses at the time again.
Squinting he sees Charlotte sitting on a stool, hovering over a cake, covering it in icing. He leans against the archway and watches. She moves delicately, taking extreme care about what she does. There is blue shimmer dust smudged on her cheek. He can’t help but notice how it matches her eyes. He takes a step forward and the floorboard creaks. Charlotte doesn’t even flinch. He continues to walk forward until he is behind her. His hands clasped behind his back.
Charlotte continues to work, making a cartoony shark out of blue-grey icing, oblivious to everything around her. He smiles. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a cartoony lab-rat sitting away from the cake. It makes him raise an eyebrow and wonder what type of cake she was making. It certainly wasn’t the wedding cake she had been talking about for the past month. He stands and watches. Charlotte doesn’t take a break the entire time. He’s amazed. She has most of the cake done, he thinks. The cake was covered, the lab-rat and shark were sitting on the top and there was the words ‘happy anniversary’ spread across in Charlotte’s cursive handwriting. He’s pretty sure she used buttercream for this cake. It had the fluffy look to it.
Charlotte hums to herself in delight. He watches, slightly amused, as she turns around. Her eyes widen when she sees him. Then, she does the most bizarre thing, she shields the cake from his view.
“Erik! How long have you been standing there?”
He shrugs “Since you put the fondant on the cake”
She looks quickly at the clock on the wall. It was past five. “I thought you were asleep at this time?”
He smiles gently, taking a step forward, and wrapping his arms around her waist. He rests his chin on her shoulder.
“I am, but I missed you.”
She smiles. “I missed you too.”
“So what client ordered that cake?”
She quickly looks behind her then back to him, looking sheepish. “well since you’ve already seen it,” she shuffles her feet and he looks at her bemused “Happy anniversary.”
He lets out a little laugh and kisses her.
Just this once he doesn’t mind that Charlotte is up making cakes till six am. Tonight though, he is going to make sure she gets some sleep. Even if he has to drag her, kicking and screaming. Tonight the cakes could wait.
chocobos say kweh: @madsmurf, because of exams and dinner and reasons →
ninemoons42.tumblr.com
Shrill cry of her alarm clock.
Charlotte almost fell out of bed - but she didn’t cry out; she knew what was going on. She might have even been dreaming lucidly for all she knew - it was something that happened to her on a regular basis, dreaming about attending lectures and going to class and…
\o/ he said perfection he said perfection HE SAID PERFECTION! Ahem, I just have to say this fic has me grinning like the biggest goofball, ever. Thankyou darling! You are the absolute best!
Incomplete XMFC/HP fic
“How do you expect to hide it?”
“I’m a telepath remember.”
“You won’t be around it forever Charles.”
“Of course I will and look at him.”
“It isn’t horrible looking.”
“Why must you call him ‘it’?”
“Have you named it?”
“Not yet.”
“Then it’s an it.”
“That’s hardly fair.”
“I think it’s entirely fair.”
“Fine I’ll name him.”
“Well? What’s its name?”
“I’m thinking.”
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
“Hardy har ha”
“Harry.”
“You are kidding me right?”
“What! Harry is a perfectly respectable name for him.”
“You are hopeless.”
“You’re just jealous that you don’t get to name your pet Harry.”
“Oh yes. I am very jealous.”
“Well then what would you call your pet.”
“Abraham”
“Lincoln”
“How very muggle.”
“You never know he could be a mutant.”
“Don’t insult our existence Charles.”
—
“Charles, Erik is in the hospital wing.”
“What? Why?”
“Don’t know the details but I will find out.”
“Right. Thank-you Raven. I’ll be back.”
“I hear it was bad.”
“Erik! What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Your face is caved in.”
“It will heal.”
“What if there wasn’t magic to fix it.”
“Well lucky there is, don’t you think?”
“Seriously. What happened.”
“Nothing serious, just some petty insults were thrown and…”
“And what?”
“…”
“Erik, please.”
“Someone tried to hurt Abraham.”
“What? Who?”
“They have already been dealt with, I assure you.”
“Erik —”
“Just leave it Charles. They have been dealt with, a caved in face was worth the price.”
“Just be careful will you, I worry.”
“You worry about everyone.”
“I worry more for my friends though, so just be careful.”
“Will do, now go get me some food.”
“I don’t think —”
“Food. I need it. Get it.”
“Alright, alright I’m going.”
—-
“I hear rumours.”
“Good ones I hope.”
“Depends.”
“Well do tell me, Emma.”
“I hear, correct me if I am wrong, that you and Lensherr are an item?”
“Oh that.”
“Yes that.”
“Wouldn’t you love to know that.”
“I could just read your mind.”
“I know. Now do tell me about that play you saw last holidays.”
—
“Can I kill Shaw?”
“Erik.”
“What it’s a perfectly good reason, this time.”
“Enlighten me.”
“A T on my last paper.”
“What was that on?”
“Vitaserum”
“Ah. Well we can’t kill him but we will get him back.”
“How?”
“Just leave that to me.”
—
“Charles what did you do?”
“Nothing really.”
“Shaw is fuming.”
“Well he can’t prove it was me.”
“So what did you do?”
“I may have altered everyone’s perspective.”
“To see what?”
“Shaw in drag.”
“…”
“Are you alright?”
“…”
“Any time now Erik.”
“…”
“BREATHE.”
“Bwhahaha”
“Hush, you’ll get us noticed.”
“Hahahahaha”
“Erik shhh. Shaw is coming this way.”
“What are you boys up to?”
“We’re off to the hospital wing, I think Erik might have been hit with an overly strong tickling charm.”
“Then you better hurry, it looks as though Mr Lensherr is turning blue.”
“Right. Will do. Come along Erik.”
—-
“Where are we going?”
“Kitchens.”
“You know where the kitchens are?”
“Every Hufflepuff knows Erik.”
“Well I apologise for not knowing this until now.”
“It’s been six years Erik, you should know.”
“I’m not a Hufflepuff.”
“Even so, you of all people should know.”
“Your point is invalid and I’m no longer listening to you.”
“I’m just saying.”
“And I’m just saying.”
—
AND THAT IS IT.
